Fanfare – Camille Breckenridge

I’ve lost 100 lbs. I’ve lost 100 lbs. I’ve lost 100 lbs. I’ve lost 100 lbs.

I keep having to repeat it to myself because it doesn’t seem real yet. I see the numbers. I can do the math. It’s true, but it doesn’t feel like it. I don’t even know how to explain the way it does feel. It’s surreal.

When I first started losing weight I imagined how I would someday feel after having lost 100 lbs: giddy, euphoric, excited, elated, ecstatic. I imagined who I would tell first and what their reaction would be. I practiced what I would say in response. I envisioned the smile on my face. I made a list of what I would buy. I made another list of how I would celebrate the moment. None of that happened.

Reality: it was a regular Wednesday, middle-workday-of-the-week, I shrugged my shoulders when I saw the number, I stared at the numbers on the scale until they faded away….and then….I went to work. In fact, it was nothing like I had imagined it would be. I didn’t feel any of those emotions, I didn’t buy any of those things, I didn’t even tell anyone. It didn’t seem to warrant all the “hype” that I had imagined almost 2 years ago. Truthfully, I’ve only told my immediate family and two other people. A few days later I made a short post on Instagram (@thedarkhairedmrsclaus) and that was it.

Here’s the thing about it….It’s not that I’m not proud–I am. It’s been a hard and arduous journey filled with tears, sweat, mental struggle, fear, joy, excitement, and emotional pain. But the thing I get from it all is that I’m still going. I’m not stopping my journey to better health and a better way of life. This was a milestone for sure, but more than that, it’s a stepping stone. I know now it’s an amazing accomplishment and I’m smiling as I type this, but I also now know I can do it. That’s the takeaway from it all…I can do hard things. I can conquer my food issues, I can overcome the mental struggle at meal times, I can win the battles I face. I also have learned that if I can do this, I can do a whole lot more. I can accomplish even more of my dreams and goals.

And I did celebrate….I became a MASKCARA Makeup Artist. Yep, I celebrated one dream by adding another one to my journey. Let’s do this!

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